Children holding hands

Do not underestimate the value of silence.

If there’s any place in the world that silence is worth its weight in gold, it’s when you have experienced a breakup and want to get back together with your ex. Why? Silence, and distance, make the heart grow fonder and ultimately make the other person realize what they are missing when they no longer have you in their life.

As hurtful, and counterintuitive as it may be, it’s important to resist the urge to contact your ex after a breakup, especially if you want to reconcile the relationship. It all actually comes down to a science. The Law of Averages, as it relates to relationships, indicates that we tend to put more emphasis on things that happen more often.

If the Law of Averages logic follows, your ex will have more good memories of you than bad ones. Leaving him to his own devices will allow these good memories to flourish and remind him of what an amazing person you are. It will allow him to start to miss you.

Unfortunately, many people don’t use the Law of Averages in their favor. Instead, they do what feels good in the moment, which is generally trying to re-insert themselves back into the lives of the person that they lost. This is counterproductive and won’t get you anywhere if you are trying to reconcile with your ex.

There are four things that you absolutely must avoid doing if you want to get back together with your ex. Try to understand why he pulled away from the relationship. You need to stop calling or texting your ex regularly, especially for things that don’t matter and are obviously just transparent excuses to get him to talk to you. When you do this, you’re really doing two things: not giving him a chance to miss you, and reminding him that you are at his call at all times.

4Don’t stalk His Social Media Profiles


Don’t stalk and comment on posts with inside jokes or flirty hints about the two of you. Doing this is like calling him all of the time, with the added insult to injury of putting it out there where all of his friends and family can see it. Everyone knows that the two of you broke up, and doing something like this simply looks a little bit desperate.

3Don’t “Accidentally” Run Into Him

Especially if you have a new significant other on your arm. Trying to spark jealousy will generally do the absolute opposite. It will make him run screaming in the other direction. Realize that all of these tactics are totally see-through and will not work.

2Never, Ever Try to Pry Information Out of His Friends and Family


Not only will most guys get extremely upset at you for meddling in their personal lives, but it also looks really sad to his loved ones. If the two of you do wind up getting back together, contacting his friends and family while you were split up is not something that they will forget anytime soon. It’s also a sure-fire way to ensure that you are the subject of tons of family gossip!

1Keeping Your Distance


According to datingadviceguru, keeping your distance will allow him to miss you on his terms. You will be unavailable and more attractive than ever, and your confidence will shine through and make him respect and admire you even more. Additionally, he will be able to reconcile his desire to rekindle the relationship with his newfound admiration of your best qualities. It might be difficult in the beginning, like everything worth doing is, but it is totally worth it in the end. Ultimately, you’ll get back together.

But what about the things you can if you want to get back with your ex? Fortunately, there are a few choices there as well. First of all, give them some space. If they broke up with you, there is surely a reason for it and you need to let them figure out how to proceed. Your presence in their life will only diminish any chances you may have in the future.

One thing many people resort to after a breakup, especially a bad one, is badmouthing former partners. That is just petty and it will gain you nothing. If your ex hears about it, it will pretty much kill all the chances of you two being together ever again. Yes, they sometimes deserve it, but this is an excellent opportunity to be a better person and just let it go.

Assessing your issues is an important step towards any potential future relationship. Sometimes, your relationship had some minor issues that were easily fixable, just the timing was wrong. However, sometimes there were massive underlaying problems that doomed it from the start, and unless they are resolved getting back together doesn’t really sound like a great idea.

In the beginning, keep things casual. This is both to protect yourself in case things don’t go as planned and to show them that you aren’t desperate. If they think that you are, it can change the whole dynamic of your relationship and that is usually not a good idea.

Take a good, hard look at your life and evaluate whether your ex can fit in. If the answer is no, you have two choices. Either move on or make adjustments. We can’t tell you which of these is the best for you, though.

You have to make that decision on your own. If you have decided to make changes in your life, make sure that your partner is aware of them. Perhaps the most important thing you can do is to clear any lingering issues you two may have. If you are to move forward, you can’t be having the same fights all over again. Make sure that you are both on the same page before committing to a relationship.

It may be tempting to just dive in, but in the long run, it can be disastrous. Getting back together may feel right, but there is a reason you broke up in the first place and unless they are fixed, you are only heading to another breakup.