This is a guest post by D. Salmons from TestFreaks – a useful one-stop resource for finding the best reviews online. Everything from blenders to laptop reviews can be found there.

If you are a world traveler, then no doubt you have probably experienced a lot of different types of fascinating foods. Mother Earth has a large variety to offer its inhabitants, and tastes often vary as much as does the local train schedule. But often what is one man’s (or woman’s) favorite is often approached with caution by others from a different part of the globe.

That is where our most celebrated and fake frozen delicacy treat bar, Weird Blends, comes into play. We offer the discriminating drinker a chance to disregard personal taste and experience a creation that may open their minds, if not always their taste buds.

We have gathered together eight of our most delicious and popular items from our imaginary menu, and would like to give you a glimpse into what makes our non-award winning beverages so special.

So, the lights are dim, there is a breeze in the air, and the Weird Blends bar is open for business. Belly up to the bar and let us give you a special treat (or eight).


Rooster Testicles Delight

rooster testicles

China serves up these liberated fowl balls as a delicacy. They supposedly have strange and wonderful powers, such as improving male prowess and make women’s skin tone beautiful. They come in pink or black, both of which are well suited for our virile drink.

Now, the first thing that may surprise you about the so named testicles are the size – they can be up to two and a half inches long. But this is probably by design, given the rooster’s ability to service 20 or more hens in the course of a given day.

Maybe observations of these habits are what started the idea of the male benefit from consumption, we really can’t say for certain. One thing we can say for certain is that rooster testicles make a great addition to our menu.

Rooster nuts have a flavor that is a cross between tofu and chicken liver. Our Rooster Testicle Delight augments that flavor with a delicious blend of mushrooms and vegetables, whipped up with ice and a soothing broth base to give it the right body.


Ox Penis Surprise

ox penis

Our Ox Penis Surprise is probably more of a surprise to the ox than the drinker, thanks to the natural bland taste of the meat used. In China ox penis is rumored to give the eater (or drinker, in our case) great skin and increased longevity. We shop around for the deepest color ox penis, since this is a good indication that the properties are the strongest.

To augment the taste bud experience we add in cinnamon, and cream is added to ice and mixed well. The fatty nature of ox penis combines with the cream to make a frothy whipped delight that is sure to leave you feeling like you are living longer, even if in fact you are not. But we have never had excessive complaints, and this is one kind of Chinese food that will not leave you feeling hungry later.


Balut Float


The Philippines bring us our next dreamy concoction, a blend built around a balut. Now, if you are not familiar with a balut, it can be described as a fertilized duck (or chicken) egg with a well developed embryo providing the tasty treat.

We create the float by complimenting the balut with ice, a pinch of salt, lemon juice, and Vietnamese coriander leaves. The drink can be appreciated for both its delicate balance of textures and flavors. The whites of the egg give the drink the perfect body, and rich vanilla bean ice cream suspended in the mixture rounds out our delicious float.


Sheep’s Head Shake

sheeps head

We like to brag that this drink has a real head on it. Coming from Iceland, sheep’s head, or svi, is singed with gasoline to remove the hair and then boiled to the perfect texture. The head is de-brained (it clashes with our preferred taste), and then blended with sweet potatoes, ice, and sheep milk.

The sheep’s milk and potatoes serve to give the drink a rich frozen head on top of the drinking goodness, which we find delights the drinker and the preparer. After all, two heads are always better than one, even in beverages.